Usenet Writings

Alternatives When Baby Is Waking

©1994 Beth Weiss, Posted to misc.kids Usenet newsgroup, November 21, 1994

Two women whose children were waking and eating all night long were torn between taking a hard-line stance and just going on as they were.

Might I suggest a middle-suggestion?   Your children are accustomed to being fed in the middle of the night, and so they're hungry then, because that's when they're used to eating.  Any attempt to get the child to sleep through the night has to help them learn not to be hungry in the middle of the night.

I agree with half of the "hard line" approach: the baby is more than old enough to sleep through the night and just has a habit of waking and demanding food.   However, I can't agree with the cold-turkey approach to breaking the habit; it sounds horribly cruel to me--the child's hunger is very real.

Instead of feeding a full 8 oz at each night waking, (or going the other way and feeding nothing), why not try reducing the amount of each night feeding?  Instead of 8 oz at each feeding, give 7 for a couple of nights.  And then drop to 6.  And then to 5.  Eventually, the theory is, the child will get used to not eating large amounts during the night, and everybody gets to sleep.

There might be some crying when the child gets a little bit less than he or she is used to, but then there might not be, if the reduction is gradual. 

Another approach is to try and postpone one of the feedings.  Afterall, if the 1am feeding moved to 2:30, then the 4:00 feeding would be at 5:30, which is at least almost morning.

I see several alternatives:  

• just work on eliminating the 1:00 feeding by reduced formula amounts
• work on reducing all night feedings (10:30, 1am, 4am) at once
• work on eliminating one, and moving the other later
• continue on as you're doing  :-)
• alternate getting up with your SO so that at each of you gets to sleep uninterrupted a couple of times each week

I'm looking at this from the point of view of someone who is non-function without 6-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.    So, for me, we absolutely had to cure Jordan of his night wakings--once I was back at work and couldn't nap during the day, I had to get my sleep at night. 

I haven't made my "read Richard Ferber's book on Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems plug" lately, so I guess it's time to do so again. Ferber's book contains a lot more information than the rumored "let the kid cry" (which is something it doesn't say at all).  I strongly recommend that any parent who is unhappy with their child's sleep patterns read this book.  Perhaps not everything in it will work for you, but there are multiple ideas and approaches, and perhaps something in it will.