Usenet Writings

On Being Pregnant

©1992 Beth Weiss, Posted to misc.kids Usenet newsgroup, June 23, 1992

I was a month from my due date when I wrote this.  A father had written:

On a similar subject, are there any other men out there who wish they could be the pregnant ones?  Or am I totally wacko?

You're totally wacko :-)

You don't want to be pregnant.  I don't even want to be pregnant--I just want to be a mom, and it's the only way I could figure out to make it happen. 

Being pregnant means that you're suffering from the heat while your spouse is trying to find sweats pants in the dresser drawer.  It means that you spend more time in the bathroom than in bed.  It means that every pillow in the house is dedicated to trying to make you more comfortable--and they're all failing.  It means that you're always hungry, but eating gives you heartburn and not eating is worse.  It means that none of your clothes fit, and your bras are too tight and since it's so close to delivery, you're too cheap to buy new ones (okay--too concerned about the long-term financial well-being of your child).  It means total strangers feel free to tell you that you're "so big" and ask if you plan to breastfeed and if you know if it's a boy or a girl yet, and then they tell you their labor stories.  It means that your back always hurts and your feet always hurt (and I don't want to even talk about the hemorrhoids), and......

Disclaimer: months 4-6 were actually lots of fun :-)   Right now, though, I just want to be un-pregnant.